Spin, Puppet Master, Spin
by Kinky Mosher Tramp
Summary: Anyway, summary inside. M for safety. Contains Slash. No explicitness unless someone else wants to write them for me. Eventual HouseAngelDoctor Who crossoverness.
1. Not Suspicious

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Angel or House or Doctor Who. All I own is Leigh, (later chapters) and Syana (all chapters) and the plot. Which will take a while to take effect, by the way. So, I apologise in advance. Also, this is an M fic, so if anyone breaks the rules, you can't blame me and send me emails saying "My little baby read your story and was swearing and making crude sexual references for days afterwards." because, for one thing, there is barely any swearing, subtle innuendo, which is so subtle _I_ can't even tell it's there sometimes. It has slash, so don't blame me if your kids are mentally scarred afterwards.

**Summary:** Spike and Syana are taken into a New Jersey hospital after being knocked out during a battle with a demon. Their doctor is a grumpy, crippled man and his three fellowship workers. How will things pan out?

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**Reviews - **

Here is where I'll reply to reviews, if I get any.

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**Chapter One:** Two Dead People Wandering Around the Hospital...Not Suspicious in the slightest, is it?

_AKA - Not Suspicious_

House looked up as the door to the exam room opened, flicking the "Start" button on his Nintendo DS™, irritation starting in on his features as he glared at the intruder. "Any reason you've decided to interrupt me during clinic duty?" he asked rudely, raising an eyebrow slightly. Cameron rolled her eyes.

"Like you ever actually _do_ anything during clinic duty." She muttered in retaliation, scowling slightly at her boss before glancing down at the file in her grip and flicking it open. "Two people brought in by a stranger, one mid-to-late twenties, the other early-to-mid twenties. No heartbeat when checked out by the On-Call Doctor."

"So it's a DoA, why bother bringing it to me?" House asked, leaning forwards in the chair, his interest obviously piqued.

"The problem is, right after they were pronounced dead, they both woke up and started demanding to use the telephone."

"So you expect me to believe that two dead guys are wandering around the hospital, looking for a 'phone?"

"No. I expect you to believe that _one_ dead guy is wandering around asking for a phone." Cameron paused and smirked, at House's confused stare. "One's a guy, the other's a woman. Both English, neither have explained why they've moved and, as far as we can tell, they're not here legally. Oh, and apparently, they've been living in L.A."

"So, why are they in New Jersey?"

"I don't know. Apparently it's some business venture thing. But, you see, when they were pronounced and got up, the On-Call Doctor started trying to check their heartbeats again. The man, presumably named 'William', according to the woman, freaked out and started asking for some peaches. The woman, whom William called 'Sigh', apparently just laughed and let the Doctor's double-check her heartbeat." She paused again, frowning at the chart. "House, she still had no heartbeat."

"None?"

"Nothing, nada, nyet. They had the shit beaten out of them, but they're out there--" Cameron broke off and half-turned towards the door as it banged open, revealing a fairly tall, respectable looking man with glasses and dark hair; a bald, black male wearing a smart suit, making him look like a lawyer; a tall, pale man with broad shoulders and defined muscles, his hair dark and spiked up with gel; and a white female with long, chest-length, curled brown hair.

"Doctor House?" the bespectacled man asked, his accent clearly British. "We were told to come to you. We're looking for two new patients of yours. British. A platinum blonde man and a messy-haired brunette?" he ventured further, obviously disheartened by House's blank look when his face animated and he turned, glaring at Cameron.

"You took the case for me without asking? What made you think that I would even _remotely_ agree to the case?" he demanded, scowling at his employee.

"The fact that two clinically dead patients, that still have no heartbeats, are wandering around the hospital." The female Doctor replied with an off-hand shrug.

"Dead? They aren't dead. Look, it's _imperative_ that you release Spike and Syana into our custody immediately." The English man demanded, sending a sideways glance towards the pale man, who was staring out of the blinds into the clinic, causing the rest of the room to turn to him. As if sensing the room's gaze, he turned to face them.

"Spike and Syana are good…erm…" he struggled and turned to the curly haired female for her assistance.

"Friends." She told him sharply, now sharing his frown.

"Peaches! Wot a nice surprise." A new, cocky, English accent joined the group and Cameron turned to the door again, staring at the newest members of the group. The blonde male's arm was slung possessively yet casually around the smaller brunette, her face showing her obvious amusement, the blonde directing a broad grin at the brooding gentleman.

"Spike…" he growled, glaring at the smaller man.

"Aw, Angelus, pet, let Spike 'ave his fun 'ere and then, back at the office, _you_ can 'ave _your_ fun." The woman said. The one named Angelus scowled but nodded curtly.

"What does she mean 'fun'?" the black man demanded suspiciously, eyeing the two newcomers warily. The girl grinned brightly at him, sending him a casual wink.

"Leave it, Gunn." Angelus muttered darkly.

"But she's always--"

"Fred, just leave it. Please? You know Sy makes stuff up." The curly haired female; now identified as "Fred" pouted but nodded once. House looked at the newest arrivals for a moment, his eyes flicking between them and Cameron.

"I thought you said they'd had the shit beaten out of them." He said accusingly, frowning.

"That's what the file said! They came in, unconscious and covered in cuts, bruises, blood and dirt!" she defended herself, staring blankly at the newest couple.

"Oh, Sire, I think she likes you." The messy-haired female cooed, smirking.

"Syana. What did I tell you about pulling a Dru?"

"Oh, fine. Spoil sport. Bloody, hell, Angel. Why've you gotta be such a drag?" Angel rolled his eyes but ignored the question, instead turning to House.

"Can they go?"

"When they mysteriously healed themselves? I don't think so." The as-yet-unnamed Brit exploded at this.

"Oh, for pity's sake, you have _no_ right to hold them here when they are quite _obviously_ alright!" he shouted at House, glaring at the two Doctor's, the effect ruined when he jumps as "Fred" rests a hand on his arm, the black man identified as "Gunn" barely concealing a scowl at the touch.

"Wes, calm down. Shouting's not going to solve this mess."

"No, but this might." Syana started forwards when the platinum blonde yanked her backwards, keeping her from attacking the two doctors.

"Sire? What the hell does _that_ mean?" Chase queried, squeezing through the door of the examination room, causing House to let out a frustrated growl.

"Right, everyone get out. Into the conference room." He ordered, shooing everyone with a wave of his cane.

"Oi! 'O does 'e think 'e is?" Spike grumbled to Angel, the closeness between the two men that had previously radiated hate towards each other didn't escape House's notice.

"He's your _doctor_, Spike. Since you where stupid enough to get driven to hospital. By a stranger, as well. Do you _know_ how long it took to find you?"

"I was unconscious! With the whole not being conscious thing! Anyway, wouldn't 'ave 'appened if Sy 'adn't tried to go after that Gravlok on 'er own." The blonde protested, pouting. All of a sudden, Syana, who had been striding along besides House, let out a snarl of frustration, glaring at the couple just ahead of them.

"Hey, mate, keep those noises for the bedroom. Not _all_ childer want to hear granddaddy growl and flirt with Sire." She scowled deeply, poking the tall, brooding man in the back. "Now, c'mon Cap'n For'ead, speed up 'nd stop growlin'."

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House pulled out a chair and slumped into it, dropping his cane beside it. "Before anyone starts trying to explain the situation, can someone tell me who the hell you people _are_?"

The Brit called 'Wes' cleared his throat. "I apologise. I forgot you weren't familiar with us. Not really used to being outside of California."

"You people are from _California_?" Foreman asked incredulously, staring at the Spike, Angel and Syana, all three's skin practically paper-white. Sy scowled.

"No. Me, Spike 'nd Specs are fr'm Englan'. Tall-Dark-'nd-Soulful's a Mick, Curly's fr'm Texas 'nd Lorne…" she stopped and glanced around. "Isn' 'ere." 'Wes' rolled his eyes again.

"As I was saying, I am Wesley Wyndam-Pryce," House raised his eyebrows at the strange name, obviously amused but opting to keep quiet, "the female next to me is Winnifred Burkle--"

"Fred." She corrected with a smile.

"Yes, quite. Fred Burkle. The pale, brooding--"

"Hey!"

"Well, you do. Now if you've all _quite _finished interrupting me, I'll continue. The pale, brooding man--"

"With a huge for'ead."

"SPIKE!" both Angel and Wesley roared at the blonde, who merely looked away into the hall, his face a picture of innocence.

"As I was saying," Wesley paused to glare again at Spike, who chuckled, "the pale man is Angel. The _incredibly_ annoying, blonde, Englishman is Spike, or William, but only William if you don't like your head to be in the vicinity of your neck. The brunette in his lap is Syana. Be bloody careful, she's more than capable of basic seduction," here Spike muttered something that sounded like 'Bloody Time Agents'. House suddenly noticed that all of the guests, minus the female in question, whom was sporting an amused smirk, had flushed and were looking decidedly uncomfortable.

"Aw, Wes, you flatter me so." She drawled teasingly, the comment directed at the bespectacled Englishman but her eyes were fixed on House. When she realised that she'd been caught looking, her grin merely widened and she sent him a wink, turning her head away.

"Anyway, last but not least, is Charles Gunn, more commonly referred to as simply 'Gunn'." Wesley finally completed, his eyes checking to make sure that he had not forgotten to mention anyone.

Cameron surveyed the group before sharing an incredulous glance with Chase and Foreman, certain that all three of the doctors were thinking the same though. _'This is gonna be a _**long**_ day.'_

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**E****ND**** C****HAPTER**** O****NE**

(A/N) Obviously, it's a House/Angel xover. There will be an eventual crossover with Doctor Who, of course, lol. Sorry for having the AI team talking more than House, but I figure they'd be sorting out all the Discharging and Escape of Spike and Sy, who is, obviously, my own creation. She's more commonly used in RPG where she's still Spike's childe but has more of a link with DW than BtVS. Anyway; this is Series 5 Angel, just after 'Smile Time'

(Spike: _[barges into Angel's office._ Hello, big guy! Need another car. Afraid this last one ended up in the drink... _[stops in mid-thought when he sees puppet Angel sitting at the desk._

**Puppet Angel**: _[anxiously._ Spike...

**Spike**: _[staring._ Look at _you_.

**Puppet Angel**: _[gesturing with his hands._ Just turn around and walk away.

**Spike**: _[still staring._ You're a—

**Puppet Angel**: Spike!

**Spike**: _[starts laughing uncontrollably._ You're a bloody puppet!) before Illyria and there is NO Connor or Cordy. Sorry, but I _really_ don't like them.. Series Three House, just after 'Finding Judas'. This is a Spangel fic, eventually there'll be DoctorJack, MasterOC. Please R&R and I'll update ASAP.


	2. An Interesting Way to Relax

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Angel or House or Doctor Who. All I own is Leigh, (later chapters) and Syana (all chapters) and the plot. Which will take a while to take effect, by the way. So, I apologise in advance. Also, this is an M fic, so if anyone breaks the rules, you can't blame me and send me emails saying "My little baby read your story and was swearing and making crude sexual references for days afterwards." because, for one thing, there is barely any swearing, subtle innuendo, which is so subtle _I_ can't even tell it's there sometimes. It has slash, so don't blame me if your kids are mentally scarred afterwards.

**Summary:** Spike and Syana are taken into a New Jersey hospital after being knocked out during a battle with a demon. Their doctor is a grumpy, crippled man and his three fellowship workers. How will things pan out?

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**Reviews - **

Here is where I'll reply to reviews, if I get any.

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**Chapter Two:** Wanking is a way to Relax, Doc, really!

_AKA – An Interesting Way to Relax_

Cameron poked Foreman, who was glaring at the group in front of them with mistrust. "What is _wrong_ with you?" she hissed, narrowing her eyes. Eric Foreman jumped slightly, jerking back into reality and shook his head sharply.

"It's nothing. I just…don't really know who these people are." He offered as explanation before turning to House, showing to Cameron that their exchange was over, his full attention on their boss. "So, why are we here?"

"Yeh, get on with it, Sir Limps-a-Lot." Sy rolled her eyes at her Sire and elbowed him in the ribs, causing him to half double over, draping himself over her back at the same time that Angel and Fred smacked the back of his head. "'Ey, leave off!" he protested, rolled her eyes at her Sire and elbowed him in the ribs, causing him to half double over, draping himself over her back at the same time that Angel and Fred smacked the back of his head. "'Ey, leave off!" he protested, pouting. House raised an eyebrow but stood, taking his cane from the arm of his chair and hobbling to the board used for differential diagnoses.

"We're here, Foreman, to discover how two of our formerly dead patients are walking,"

"Sittin'." Syana burst in.

"Fine, _sitting_ around the hospital, quite happily." House concluded.

"Maybe the on-call screwed up." Chase offered, breaking his silence as he turned away from the window, blurrily focusing on his boss.

"Hey, I wouldn't do that if I were you!" Angel suddenly blurt out, staring at Cameron, who had one hand outstretched, reaching for the blinds.

"I'm just trying to get a little light in here…" she trailed off, her confused gaze flicking between her co-workers and the stranger. Wesley cleared his throat.

"I'm afraid that Angel, Spike and Syana are all allergic to sunlight." He explained calmly, a small smile flickering faintly onto his face.

"So how did you get Angel here? It's broad _daylight_. You know? Time of the sun?" Chase queried, frowning.

"Blanket wrapped around him. Otherwise he would've…burnt up. Burned quite quickly and dramatically. The damage caused would've been irreparable."

"All three allergic to the same thing? That's _impossible_." Foreman snorted, turning away, certain that he was correct. Syana snarled, leaning back slightly.

"Pompous twat." She muttered under her breath, glaring furiously at him.

"Sy, hush. Mr…Foreman, was it? I know it's unlikely, but, as I'm sure you know, photosensitivity is a hereditary disease…"

"Well, yeah, we've treated a little girl for the same thing a couple of weeks ago." Chase replied in his Australian twang, causing Fred to pause and shoot him a bright smile. House glanced between Wesley and Gunn, noticing their jealous glances. Snapping back to reality, she continued.

"Anyway, Angel, Spike and Sy are siblings. Brothers and sister." She told the doctors with another grin. House stalled, leaning on his cane as he studied her coolly, causing the small Texan to squirm slightly. With a curt, singular shake of the head, he sat down.

"You're lying." He stated simply, ignoring the young woman's crestfallen expression in favour of staring at the table.

"House!" Cameron chastened, glaring disapprovingly at the older man, a small frown marring her, otherwise perfect, features.

"What? It's _true_!"

"Even so--"

"House, Cuddy's looking for you. She wants to know if you've seen the patients that Cameron assigned you to. Apparently, they've proved to be quite elusive--" Wilson broke off his interruption as he looked up at the file. He took a minute step back in shock as he noticed the crowd of people gathered around the table. Turning back to his old friend, he raised both eyebrows. "What, you're _socialising_ now?" he asked incredulously, stepping further into the conference room.

"I'm not allowed visitors now?"

"Greg, you're one of the most _anti_-social people I've _ever_ met! You don't even talk to your patients! And you're a _doctor_!"

"Well, now you know Peaches." Spike butted in, grinning broadly, his smile turning to a pout as the aforementioned male (Angel, in case you thought otherwise) swatted his arm. "Hey, bugger off, puppet man!"

"Spike…"

"Agh! SHUT UP! _Both_ of you!" Syana bellowed, extracting herself from her 'brothers' lap and grasping both of the men by the hair before, seemingly, effortlessly dragging the pair's heads together until they met with a soft '_thud_'.

"Ow! Bloody hell, Sy!" Wilson followed the exchange for a few minutes and, rolling his eyes, finally gave up, turning to House.

"You found them then." He stated pointlessly, a wry smile twisting the corners of his lips. House feigned a double take at the dry remark, gasping as he pretended to only just notice the platinum blonde male and his 'sister'.

"Well, would you look at that?" he asked the oncologist sarcastically. "They were there all the time. It's always in the last place you look, isn't it?" Spike sniggered at the comment, now obviously fully recovered from the wound to his pride.

"I like this bloke."

"You like every bloke that passes by." Spike shot Chase a leering look, causing the Australian to squirm before turning to face his addresser properly.

"Why, Angel, do I detect a hint of jealousy?"

"Ew, Spike. Even for you, _that_ is gross." Gunn scrunched up his face, glaring at the pale, slender man opposite him.

"Look, everyone, just be QUIET!" House glared at Syana as she opened her mouth to speak, so she snapped it shut, opting to pout instead. "Right," House paused, trying to remember the name of the blonde man.

"Spike." Foreman offered, sighing heavily.

"Spike. That's an interesting choice of name you got there. Anyway, _Spike_ and Syana, you're staying overnight for check-ups. To make sure you don't go and _die_ again. SHUT UP!" he roared at the brooder, whose name escaped his grasp. "You two stay here for the night, that's _final_. Someone, make up an interesting disease for them, admit them into the hospital and tell Cuddy we found them." House finally completed, grabbing his cane again, more decisively this time, and hobbling from the room, through the glass door, and into his office, just catching Spike's muttered comment.

"Would've been much more frightenin' if he wasn' jus' goin' into the nex' room."

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"Spike, stop it! Please, don't!" House entered the patients' room to hear Syana's plaintive cries, the other occupant of the room just grinning.

"What the _hell_ is going on in here?" Syana's head whirled around at the voice, her scowl dissipating as she realised who has entered the room, a pout taking it's place.

"Spike's _poking_ me." She explained, her words dripping with innuendo before she turned, shooting her 'sibling' an irritated glare.

"You're screeching down the hallway because…your boyfriend is poking you?" Syana looked shock, shouting 'He's not my boyfriend!' at the same time that Spike came out with 'She's not my girlfriend!' House looked at them in disbelief and, rolling his eyes, mentally repeated 'Everybody lies'.

"Do you want to tell me who you two really are, then?" he paused and looked directly at Spike. "Starting with you, William."

"Spike." He growled, scowling automatically at the use of his real name.

"Whatever. For the purposes of this conversation, it's _William_. So, _William_," House started to twirl his cane between his hand, "What's your surname?" Spike, or William, instantly stiffened up, eyeing the crippled doctor warily as he struggled to sit up.

"Why do you need to know tha'?"

"Medical records. Stuff like charts, tests and forms. Boring doctor stuff. Boring paperwork, crap like that." He was lying; Spike could smell the deceit but couldn't point it out without alerting the already suspicious doctor to his unique…differences to the rest of humanity. So he simply nodded curtly and responded.

"'S Bradshaw."

"Good. Syana?"

"'S Karlson. With a K." she told him, an amused smirk passing over her lips fleetingly before she turned serious again, watching the doctor with a bemused stare.

"Thanks." He told them, nodding slowly, standing as he grasped his cane and made towards the door, just as Angel appeared in the doorway, two undistinguished lumps in his duster.

"Dr House."

"…Brooder." Angel rolled his eyes but hesitated, moving out of House's way but not entering the room.

X-X-X-Syana POV-X-X-X

Why the hell wasn't he coming in? He has the damn blood, why won't he enter? As it dawns on me, I mentally send House death glares, scowling. The daft sod's gone and made this a residence. True, the whole 'vampire's can't enter a humans house without permission' thing shouldn't count with me and Spike because we aren't humans but _House_ doesn't know that. The daft bugger has gone and made it a human residence. Temporary, but still, a residence for humans. "Well, come in then you daft bastard! Can't 'ave you standin' 'round like a pillock now, can we?"

"Can't we?" Spike chimes up and I glare at him irritably, the bloodlust almost getting the better of me as I and, obviously, Spike, struggle not to vamp out at the scent of Angel's 'presents'.

X-x-X-Normal POV-X-x-X

Stepping into the room, Angel immediately went to Sy's side, placing a calming hand on her shoulder. Moving his gaze to House, he frowned. "I got the impression that you didn't often visit patients." He said, no infliction in his voice as he stated the simple fact, recalling Wilson's shock at the maverick having visitors.

"I don't. But, then again, it's not often that dead patients start walking around my hospital, acting like they never died in the first place." Spike let out a bark of laughter, throwing his head back.

"'E's got you there, luv." Angel shot the smaller man a pissy glare, flaring his nostrils and opened his mouth to say something.

"No. You're not going to start another _pointless_ 40-minute argument about something stupid like a quasi-offensive term of endearment or whether astronauts would beat _cavemen_ in a fight!" Syana stopped them in a loud, angry voice, sighing heavily. House paused in his progression to the door and turned back to the trio.

"Would the astronauts have weapons?"

"No." Spike and Angel chimed together. Syana groaned and let her head fall forwards.

"Oh, bugger."

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Fred wrinkled her nose delicately as she watched Syana and Spike practically rip the small plastic packages into tiny, little pieces to get at the red, viscous substance that was inside. The petite brunette grimaced as the other two occupants of the room lifted the heads, their faces a demonic parody of their previous visage, making Fred once again thankful that she had closed the blinds before allowing the pair to feed. "How did no one notice that? I mean, c'mon, you two _both_ eat pretty loudly." Spike's face morphed into its usual form as he considered the question.

"Maybe your babbling drowned it out." Syana retorted coolly, passing Spike a tissue for him, prompting him to start wiping the excess blood from his forehead and chin, sending his childe a reproving glare as he did so.

"Drowned what out?" Chase asked as he entered the room, looking down at the clipboard in his hand, closely followed by Wesley. Syana looked shocked and quickly changed back to human form before replying.

"Spike was wankin'."

"Only for you, pet."

"Spike, you are a pig."

"Aw, Wes, you wound me. You really do." The blonde grinned. Chase shook his head, raising it as he considered the pair, trying to fight down the smile that was threatening to appear on his face.

"You're supposed to be resting."

"It helps me relax." Chase raised an eyebrow but dropped the subject, pulling out a needle.

"Hey, now, whatcha doin' with that, mate?"

"Finding out who you two really are for a start." House snapped, hobbling into the room.

"What on earth do you mean? We have been completely frank with you, thank you _very_ much." Wesley replied, indignance tingeing his voice as he frowned at the obviously pissed off doctor.

"Yeah, that's why we don't know how your friends managed to _die_ and come back to life." He snapped coldly. House limped further into the room, glaring at the 'patients' lying on their beds. "The last William Bradshaw that fits your little friends description disappeared one night in England. He was found the next day, true. But, he was found dead. And _this_ was in 1880." He gave Spike a sarcastic look. "You have good skin for a guy who's 127 years old. Do you moisturise?" he asked coldly, one eyebrow rose as he turned on Syana.

"And you. The last Syana Karlson, easier to track such a _unique_ name. She disappeared too. In England. One dark night, she just disappeared after a party with some friends." He paused and pulled out a slip of paper from his jeans pockets, his eyes running down the things written there.

"One Mr William Bradshaw, description unknown but other friends told police that Syana was engaged to Mr Bradshaw; one Miss Drusilla Boleyn; one Mr Angelus O'Connor and one Mrs Darla O'Connor. Funnily enough, the last three were the last people seen with William when he was alive. How's that for a coincidence?" He looked up again, the paper returning to his pocket. "Any of this sounding even remotely familiar?" without waiting for a reply, he continued. "Anyway, the difference is, _she_ disappeared in 1905, found dead of exsanguination the next day. She was the oldest daughter, out of twins, of an acquaintance of the 'late' Mr Bradshaw. One Cecily Karlson, née Addams." Syana let out a deep sigh as she heard the deep, angry growl that emitted from within her sire at her mother's name and knew without turning that his face had reformed its demonic identity. Turning her head, she confirmed her fears. "Well, shit," she muttered darkly before her head moved to stare at Fred. "Tell Angel and Gunn that the humans know." She ordered the younger woman and slid out of the hospital bed, setting upon the task of de-vamping the other vampire.

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**E**ND** C**HAPTER** T**WO

**Words: **_2,554_

**Characters (with spaces): **_15, 015_

**Paragraphs: **_95_

**Pages: **_8_

(A/N) Little bit of past, telling us when Syana was turned and what happened w00t. If you wanna know more, just email me at soulless vampire hot mail. Co. uk. Only, you know, without the spaces…please R&R with constructive criticism or compliments...whichever.


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